| Awkward pause or mouth organ? | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Do we have a picture of ____? | Oprah | I look forward to your letters. |
| It's a great day for America everybody | Kangaroo testicles | What time is it Geoffrey Peterson? | Remind you of anyone? | Craiky-Dingo |
| CBS cares | For reals? | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Best damn nite of my life. | In your pants |
| TARDIS | You too laides. | Sex party! | I know! | Take that ____? |
| Never saw that coming! | Ooh-la-la | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | Lesbian row | Me-ow! |