| TARDIS | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | Lesbian row | What do you think, Geoffrey Peterson? | What's-a-come-ana-go. |
| Kangaroo testicles | Whose that at the door? | Never saw that coming! | Best damn nite of my life. | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. |
| Do tell. | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Oprah | Sex robot |
| CBS cares | In your pants | Awkward pause or mouth organ? | Do we have a picture of ____? | Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney? |
| Grow a pair of testicles | Craiky-Dingo | Take that ____? | I know! | Remind you of anyone? |