| I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. | Me-ow! | Sex party! | What time is it Geoffrey Peterson? |
| Awkward pause or mouth organ? | For reals? | Kangaroo testicles | Remind you of anyone? | One is a ____ and the other is a ____. |
| Best damn nite of my life. | Whose that at the door? | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | I know! | What's-a-come-ana-go. |
| Balls | Lesbian row | Oprah | It's a great day for America everybody | Craiky-Dingo |
| CBS cares | Do we have a picture of ____? | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Never saw that coming! | In your pants |