| Do tell. | I know! | Sex party! | Remind you of anyone? | I look forward to your letters. |
| Wikipedia | CBS cares | Whose that at the door? | You too laides. | What do you think, Geoffrey Peterson? |
| Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney? | In your pants | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Me-ow! | Sex robot |
| Awkward pause or mouth organ? | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. | Do we have a picture of ____? | For reals? | Take that ____? |
| What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Never saw that coming! | TARDIS | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson | Grow a pair of testicles |