| Best damn nite of my life. | Oprah | Kangaroo testicles | CBS cares | Ooh-la-la |
| Whose that at the door? | Take that ____? | I love Maryland. I got crabs there once. | You too laides. | One is a ____ and the other is a ____. |
| Do we have a picture of ____? | TARDIS | CRAIG FERGUSON BINGO (free square) | Me-ow! | Do we have a picture of Paul McCartney? |
| Balls | Remind you of anyone? | What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig? | Sex party! | Grow a pair of testicles |
| I look forward to your letters. | Never saw that coming! | What's-a-come-ana-go. | For reals? | I am your host, TV's Craig Ferguson |